The Phantom International XI

The Phantom International Eleven (PIXI) belongs in the first rank of the world’s great social cricket teams. Social cricket is a phenomenon distantly related to real cricket. The greatest similarity between the two codes is in the equipment used, and the greatest difference is in the attitude of the players involved.

Brief History

I formed PIXI in 1977. The team has played more or less regularly (as in twice a season) ever since. I was a bookish lad, and never played cricket – or indeed any other sport – as a child. I discovered the delights of watching cricket in my later years at high school, and more especially at University, where the arcane rules and statistics of the game increasingly appealed to my sense of the absurd. I started playing when I left University. Because I had such a late start, I have never been much good, so I have become a specialist captain, in the Mike Brearley mould.

PIXI's first few games were played against a team led by the redoubtable Clayton Jones, who shared a house with me at the time. Clayton was a “real” cricketer, and was reputed to have hit a six at Lords, playing for Ireland against the MCC. But that caused a problem. I was not (and am not) a “real” cricketer, and Clayton and some of his mates took the game far too seriously.

A sign of this was the defection of Clayton’s ‘keeper Harvey Juchau to PIXI in 1980, because playing for PIXI was more fun than under Clayton’s stern regime. Mad Irish painter John Doherty also defected, and the two of them remain PIXI stalwarts to this day. Harvey’s advancing years and gammy leg mean that he can no longer keep wicket, but because he is a true all-rounder that is of little consequence. Other regular players over the years include Michael "Louie" Lynch, Graeme "GD" Dowdle and Mark "Ricko" Richardson. In recent years Derek Zilich has been a dependable vice captain.

Most of PIXI’s games over the last 20 years have been played against The Droughtbusters XI, led by noted reprobate Kym Goldsworthy. Kym’s team consists primarily of out of work actors and other layabouts on the fringe of the theatrical scene. The two teams are evenly matched, and have shared the honours equally over the years.

Scores of the most recent PIXI versus
Droughtbusters XI match

Match held at Petersham Oval, Sunday 17 March, 2002

30 overs a side, ten a side in the field. Compulsory retirement at 40, maximum 4 overs per bowler. All players to bowl at least one over. Drinks every ten overs, umpires provided by batting side.

Droughtbusters XI

Phantom International XI

Droughtbusters XI won by 27 runs

An enjoyable match on a beautiful warm autumn day. Droughtbusters batted very well to amass an imposing total on a good batting wicket. Nevertheless, PIXI responded well and it was a close match until PIXI’s innings fell away towards the end. PIXI was 2/88 after 12 overs, and seemed to have the run chase well in hand, but a devastating spell by Droughtbusters captain and man of the match Kym Goldsworthy skittled the middle order and put an end to PIXI’s chances. PIXI’s tail also disappointed, most of them being by that stage too drunk to bat well. Droughtbusters deserved their win, though it was not entirely through their own ability. Anyway, social cricket was the real winner on the day.

 

The Phantom International XI celebrating a moral victory,
Petersham Oval, 17 March 2002